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Why don't you go back to whore island
This is a really simple comic, but I like it a lot. Written by me, drawn by OJ. The title of this post is what OJ originally named the file. Not sure why. My original post is below.
The title of this comic is so far removed from what the comic is actually about that it's ludicrous. I may as well have named the comic "Dr. Phil caught banging Oprah." That, at least, would be interesting... especially if it was on live TV. Ok, enough about that.
A favorite pastime of OJ's and mine is drunk dialing. This usually involves calling random people off our contact lists. Occasionally we'll call friends, but it's more entertaining to call ex's, people we've only met once or haven't talked to in a year, or even occasionally people we should never talk to because they want us dead (these numbers are listed in our phone as "DO NOT CALL"). The example depicted in the comic is actually quite docile compared to most of our calls. Usually webcomic artists create characters that are an exaggeration of them. Our characters are mellow. We didn't want to offend the general public too much, though I'm sure OJ will beg to differ.
It's interesting though that the majority of people we call at 3:30am, so drunk that we don't remember how to make words with our mouths anymore, are actually not only receptive but happy to receive our calls. Even insomniacs whose fragile sleeps are ruined by our call thank us for thinking of them. Then they hang up.
One of the reasons people enjoy getting drunk, I firmly believe, is because it lets you get away with shit you normally couldn't get away with. Also, it gives us balls. Men who typically cower in fear when confronted with an attractive woman suddenly become funny and debonair (um, ostensibly). That statement excludes the reader, because I know you're a real man... unless you're a woman, in which case email me your number and I promise to drunk dial you.
A philosophy I've chosen to live by is to act the same when I'm sober as when I'm drunk, or maybe I act the same drunk as when I'm sober, and I just hold my liquor well. In either case, when you meet someone, you can save yourself a lot of time by just acting like yourself right up front. If they like you, awesome. If they don't like you, also awesome, because you've just saved yourself six months of grief which would end with her saying "wait, so you don't like hiking, puppies, and cotton candy? Fuck you, you rich asshole. You're broke too?? Goddammit!" Also, I want to point out that the reason hot women often act like total cunts to us guys for no reason is because they too want to avoid that 6 months of wasted grief. The solution in a bitch situation is to act like an asshole. Hilariously enough, the two will cancel out, and you'll develop a lasting and honest relationship. Fucked up, I know.
~Fuzzy